Feminine
by sudoku
Summary: Sheldon usually gets what he wants. That's not the case for dealing with females in his life though. As any self-respecting scientists do, he does a quick analysis to find out what goes wrong and what needs to be done. No shipping unless you squint hard.


Disclaimer: I don't own this show.

Note: My first venture into the Big Bang Theory fanfiction and I'm crazy enough to start with Sheldon's POV. This's written for the Friday's prompt "Feminine" in the lj community, perhaps the word usage is not what was the prompt initially intended. Any feedback and constructive criticism is welcome.

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Sheldon Cooper never gets the better of most females in his life and as luck has it, he somehow has a handful of females in his life. Some people may think he is lucky that way and he's well aware of and always happy to point out he isn't like most people. He doesn't believe in luck either.

To be fair, the females in questions are not romantic partners as most male population such as Leonard, Rajesh and especially Howard would like to have. They are family members, arch nemesis (there can only be one arch nemesis, otherwise it defies the definition), fans, and neighbours. He couldn't place Penny in the first 3 categories so just put her as a neighbour for now.

He needs to break down the categories into finer details to analyse it further.

He's definitely smarter than all the mentioned females. He still needs to hypothesize how they could get the better of him. Perhaps he's not in touch with feminine so-called intuition although all human interactions baffle him, not only females. He need to research more whether there are manuals to deal with females, deal in the sense to win in any confrontation, not to get along.

To be fair, his mother and sisters, especially Missy, are family. Some silly social convention dictates that he somehow needs to follow orders from family even if they are wrong. That, and the fear of punches from Missy or the repeated rambling of his mum about God.

As for Leslie Winkle, he is certain string theory is the only valid way and Leslie's research won't produce any significant result ever. He just couldn't win verbal arguments against her. It also seems that all her insult is directed only to him. He guesses all great superheroes always have arch nemeses, otherwise, life for them will be too boring. After all, research is more important than school yard bullying.

He should be happy to have fans, all great minds like Einstein and Hawking have them. Leslie only uses her body to manipulate men but he has true believers of his research. Sheldon 1 times the number of fans, Leslie 0. Having fans certainly provides all the perks like free food, manicure, personal assistant. However, they also refrain him from doing what he wants to do. He's sure Einstein didn't have anybody preventing him from playing paint ball, hypothetically speaking of course, since paint ball hadn't been invented back then.

As for Penny, she falls into a special category all together. He admits that she's a neighbour which is a fact that no one can argue about. However, she is more than that. Well, lately they've become friends according to Penny. However, she's not the same as Rajesh, Howard, or Leonard. The most important point is they never give him Leonard Nimoy's DNA, Penny did. Despite not having any university degree, she certainly has ways to deal with him and doesn't allow him to have his way all the time. In fact, Penny can be a nemesis as well. She seems to get the better of him many times, not in the same way as Leslie, but somehow in more significant ways. How it's more significant he couldn't tell, which annoys him enormously. Somehow, he doesn't mind that at all as she provides stimulating challenges. She is definitely no Leslie as Penny can also act like family. She took care of him when he was sick and often drives him. She is definitely not a fan, but who wants a fan who doesn't understand physics. Well, she is sort of his fan in playing Age of Conan, but people in all the 26 universes (not the Conan virtual universe) know that it's not important.

He concludes from his analysis that Penny is the superset of the categories he defined. To save time, he should just research on Penny in order to win his ongoing battle against females.


End file.
